How to Become Enchanting

Kawasaki says likability requires making a good first impression with:

• A big, natural “George Clooneyesque” smile.

• A great handshake.

• The right attire—not too formal or too casual, but at the same level as the person you’re meeting.

• Simple, unambiguous words, speaking in the active voice and keeping it short.

• Being accepting of others so they accept you; recognizing that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, as well as issues in their lives you may not be aware of.

• Getting close to people through frequent contact. “Presence makes the heart grow fonder,” Kawasaki writes.

• Refraining from imposing your values. “The best enchanters savor the differences among people’s values and use an inclusive model.”

•Pursuing and projecting your passions. “Finding shared passions breaks down barriers,” he says.

• Creating win-win situations. Kawasaki tells a story about actor Steve McQueen’s first wife, Neile, who traveled with McQueen, Paul Newman and James Garner to a car race in 1963. On the way back, she had to go to the restroom, so they pulled into a service station. The line for the ladies’ room was long, so she told the women ahead of her there was a car full of movie stars parked nearby, and they all scrambled. “This was a win-win-win: Neile got into the bathroom, the girls met some famous movie stars and the men got back on the road in less time.”

•Adopting a “yes” attitude. “A yes buys time, enables you to see more options and builds rapport,” Kawasaki writes. “By contrast, a no response stops everything. There’s no place to go, nothing to build on and no further options are available. You will never know what may have come out of a relationship if you don’t let it begin.”

By Guy Kawasaki, Success Magazine